Wow so last night was intresting. I signed our family up for a parenting class for children ages 10-14.. Last night was our second class. During these classes Miss Katie goes to The Resource center were she plays twister and musical chairs for 2 hours while we are hard at work on IMPROVING our communication skills with our 10 year old... I think she has the better half of the deal.
I signed up for the classes because I always think their is room for improvement and even if you only learn just one thing: You're growing and isn't that what were all here for.
Anyways My husband hasn't been to hip on it cause well he thinks things are fine and he's right, they are, but as I said theirs always room for improvement. He being the wonderful husband that he is knew it was important to me so he goes and even participates.. Sam Hates it!
Sam oh Sam my wonderful Sam.. Sam is an intresting kid. Already talking about college and politics.. Ya hes a diffent kinda dude.. He's also very stubborn. So in his stubborness last night he decided he didn't want to be at the class. So things turn sour.
He is huffing and puffing, not looking at us, saying things under his breath sitting with his arms crossed. Finally he says he's outta there and gets up and walks out.. UGH! There are those moments as a parent when you just find yourself not knowing the answer and that was one of them.. Anyways being that I am friend with the instructors I frustratingly said "This is why I am here!" " How do I deal with this"! So I got up and followed him out of the class he tried to hide in the boys bathroom then learned quickly I have know shame when I walked in..
stil stubborn he refuse to come back to class. I tell him not to leave the building and I go back to the room. After a small talk with my husband we decide not to expend any more energy or attention to him and continue with what we are doing..
Our assignment to make a family shield. One that contains four of our families core values. Whew.. Alright we can do that would be funner if Sam was helping but okay Brad and I will just do it.. Of course you know my head is soooooo not in the game.
We whip a shield up our four values we list are; Hard work, Education, Honesty, and working together as a family. Blah Blah... We present it to the class most parents present theirs with their kids helping and reading theirs. Sam has decided to grace us with his presence again but just returns to his seat. Brad and I are left to present our shield ourselves.. ho hum.. I'm ready to go home.
Next we all get in a circle at the end of class. Each Family says what one of their familys core values are.. The circle come round to us... um.. My minds not in the game.
Sam speaks up... "Mom, can I pick it?"
Oh great I am thinking what is he gonna say..
"um ya sure Sam go ahead"
Everyone is watching and waiting cause here is this kid thats just been a pill for the last 2 hours and he stands their quietly for a second..
Then The teacher says "okay Sam whats one value your family has and he pauses and then says " LOVE, my family has love..."
Well I have to admit this hit a nerve and I started to cry like a big baby I was embarrased till I looked around and saw a few others weeping to.. Kids they can be so frustrating and then they say something thats just so obvious....It feels like it smacks you right in the head..
Friday, February 27, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
ho humm Winter blues
Do you ever feel like you are waiting for something. Like your skin is just itching from the expectation.. I'm there right now.. I feel like I am stalled.. And can't quite get out of my skin.. I need to molt like a snake maybe I just need to slither and rub against some rocks and I will feel new.. Then again maybe not... I have had this feeling of being impatient all day.. like when your at a really long red light and you just want to get where your going. Or when your standing in line at the grocery store with just a gallon of milk and in front of you a never ending trail of costumers each with their own over flowing cart...
I think maybe it's the need for spring.. On my walk with the dog today I heard frogs sing ...I think they only do that in Spring.. It was so warm today.. Felt so good... Made my skin that much more itchy.. Do you ever just want to take all your clothes off and lay in the sun like a cat... Feeling the arms of the sun wrap around your body... I'm there.. I need heat.. I am tired of feeling as though I am in a chronic state of hibernation... I need to breath I am not made for winter I am a temperate person who needs temperate weather..Wake up Wake up I need to wake up to the smell of spring to apple blossoms and daffadils.. ho humm I'm ready to be done with winter..
I think maybe it's the need for spring.. On my walk with the dog today I heard frogs sing ...I think they only do that in Spring.. It was so warm today.. Felt so good... Made my skin that much more itchy.. Do you ever just want to take all your clothes off and lay in the sun like a cat... Feeling the arms of the sun wrap around your body... I'm there.. I need heat.. I am tired of feeling as though I am in a chronic state of hibernation... I need to breath I am not made for winter I am a temperate person who needs temperate weather..Wake up Wake up I need to wake up to the smell of spring to apple blossoms and daffadils.. ho humm I'm ready to be done with winter..
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
reflecting
My daughters birthday was on February 12. Every birthday the kids have. It is traditional at our house to tell them the story of their birth. So I will share the story with you also.
Katherines delivery was a planned c-section. Planned because Sam had been delivered via emergency c-section, the surgery as you can imagine left quite a big scar on my stomach. Not that I am anymore vain then the next person, but knowing the damage Sams birth caused I didn't want my um..how do I say...hoo hoo left in the same condition as my stomach was from the first birth so I figured we should deliver her the same way Sam was .
It was really great actually. No labor we just made an appointment. I can remember Brad and I getting into the elevator at the hospital bright and early in the morning it was just about 7 am and we new in just about 2 hours we would be holding our new baby in our arms. We rode up to the third floor and walked into a pre op room. Brad had to put on scrubs.. He looked just like a doctor he even grabbed a clip board and jokingly pretended to be my physican.. We were so full of excitement and laughter.
I was then led to the operating room Brad had to wait outside until I ws preped. I sat on the edge of the operating table with a pillow on my lap. The antheseologist had me curl my back over as much as I could then he slipped the needle into my spine that would deaden any feeling from my breasts own. This process is nail biting. I was gripping the pillow as hard as I could adn sweat was beading up on my forehead as the needle made it's journey, when the needle and medicine first enters your spine it feels like a small snake or worm slithering through your spine.. It's very unreal.
They then had me lay back quickly because the drug takes affect quite fast.. Brad entered the room and came over to me and held my hand the doctors began there work.. Nausea hit and I began to vomit lovingly my husband held my head.. Then there she was.. Wrapped up in a blankie Brad holds her to my face...shes beautiful.
When I found out I was pregnant.. I wished and wished for a boy. I was terrified of the thought that I could have a girl. A girl..what would I do with a girl?! I never had a very good relationship with my mother and I feared that I would have the same relationship with Katie.. After she was born, for the first six monthes I looked at her like she was alien.. I was scared of her... I was scared for what her life would hold. Being female in this world is not exactly easy. What if I couldn't protect her. What if I couldn't teach her the things she would need to know. What if I wasn't good enough..
All thats gone now.. I don't worry like I use to. I love her like no other. So many differences from my own relationship with my mother. I can show her I love her and I know in my heart she will never doubt it. She is amazing ..and she is loved. I am thankful everyday that she is a girl and take comfort in being able to give her and her brother everything they need... hugs, an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on, a person to laugh with and always no matter what be there to cheer them on through all their successes and when they fall we'll be there to help them up..
Katies 8 now.. So beautiful and so smart. I hope for her all the things a parent hopes for their child..I hope she never know heart break or pain but realisticly she will experience both I hope she can learn from her experiences but not let them cloud her view of the world.. I hope she is always hopeful and optimistic because life is to short to be bitter. I hope she loves the rain... and the puddles it makes cause life is messy but a lot of fun too.. And always I hope she knows I love her always and forever and a day..
Katherines delivery was a planned c-section. Planned because Sam had been delivered via emergency c-section, the surgery as you can imagine left quite a big scar on my stomach. Not that I am anymore vain then the next person, but knowing the damage Sams birth caused I didn't want my um..how do I say...hoo hoo left in the same condition as my stomach was from the first birth so I figured we should deliver her the same way Sam was .
It was really great actually. No labor we just made an appointment. I can remember Brad and I getting into the elevator at the hospital bright and early in the morning it was just about 7 am and we new in just about 2 hours we would be holding our new baby in our arms. We rode up to the third floor and walked into a pre op room. Brad had to put on scrubs.. He looked just like a doctor he even grabbed a clip board and jokingly pretended to be my physican.. We were so full of excitement and laughter.
I was then led to the operating room Brad had to wait outside until I ws preped. I sat on the edge of the operating table with a pillow on my lap. The antheseologist had me curl my back over as much as I could then he slipped the needle into my spine that would deaden any feeling from my breasts own. This process is nail biting. I was gripping the pillow as hard as I could adn sweat was beading up on my forehead as the needle made it's journey, when the needle and medicine first enters your spine it feels like a small snake or worm slithering through your spine.. It's very unreal.
They then had me lay back quickly because the drug takes affect quite fast.. Brad entered the room and came over to me and held my hand the doctors began there work.. Nausea hit and I began to vomit lovingly my husband held my head.. Then there she was.. Wrapped up in a blankie Brad holds her to my face...shes beautiful.
When I found out I was pregnant.. I wished and wished for a boy. I was terrified of the thought that I could have a girl. A girl..what would I do with a girl?! I never had a very good relationship with my mother and I feared that I would have the same relationship with Katie.. After she was born, for the first six monthes I looked at her like she was alien.. I was scared of her... I was scared for what her life would hold. Being female in this world is not exactly easy. What if I couldn't protect her. What if I couldn't teach her the things she would need to know. What if I wasn't good enough..
All thats gone now.. I don't worry like I use to. I love her like no other. So many differences from my own relationship with my mother. I can show her I love her and I know in my heart she will never doubt it. She is amazing ..and she is loved. I am thankful everyday that she is a girl and take comfort in being able to give her and her brother everything they need... hugs, an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on, a person to laugh with and always no matter what be there to cheer them on through all their successes and when they fall we'll be there to help them up..
Katies 8 now.. So beautiful and so smart. I hope for her all the things a parent hopes for their child..I hope she never know heart break or pain but realisticly she will experience both I hope she can learn from her experiences but not let them cloud her view of the world.. I hope she is always hopeful and optimistic because life is to short to be bitter. I hope she loves the rain... and the puddles it makes cause life is messy but a lot of fun too.. And always I hope she knows I love her always and forever and a day..
Monday, February 9, 2009
another late night
Why do I even have an answering machine. It's little red light is flashing urgently at me and for some reason I choose never ever to check it.. I think it's like a battle of wills.. ha.. Ya like that makes sense. I am having a battle of wills with my answering machine.. It just blinks and blinks..
I refuse to check it. However I don't want it disconnected either.. Hmmm
I refuse to check it. However I don't want it disconnected either.. Hmmm
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